Decisions

What follows is a post on a decision I made recently.  While I am not so foolish as to think that this decision will be particularly life altering, it does touch on a few themes that I think are important, namely identity, prayer, the importance of having wise council and having others speak into your life, and general priorities.  

A few months ago, after our Senior season had ended, I sat down with our head coach, Martin, for my post season interview.  Martin started the conversation by thanking me for my contribution to the team over the past few seasons and my willingness to change positions for the betterment of the team.  It was nice to hear such affirming words from my head coach, especially given that I hadn’t played defensive line since high school.  A little further into the conversation, he alluded to the fact that we will have a lot of young guys rising from juniors to seniors and the group of seniors that we do have are very young and inexperienced themselves, not just at offensive line (the position I coach) but the entire team.  I had been given a heads up that this was where the conversation was going to turn, but when he asked the question, I was still not prepared for it.  Martin asked me to consider stepping down as a player in order to focus more intensely on the young group as a full time coach. 

Midway through the last senior season my answer would have been an absolute yes.  Physically, I was feeling the wear and tear of playing so many years of football, combined with the stress of playing one position and coaching a different one.  At times, my body still feels the effects of the season.  Reason would dictate that I accept the offer to leave the field and walk the sidelines.  It is amazing how your decision making process changes when the question revolves around something that has been apart of your life for so long.

I had never pictured myself as a football player first in any aspect of my life.  My high school career was above average and I was blessed with the opportunity to play at Wabash College, where I learned more about the game than I ever thought possible.  I did not see the field much at Wabash, but being apart of the team was one of the greatest experiences of my life.  I certainly considered myself a student first while in university.  I never considered being a football player as being core to my identity in any way.  If anyone were to ask me my priorities I would have enthusiastically recited the "Faith, Family, Football," mantra, referring, in order, to the priorities laid down by many a player and coach over the years.  Yet here I was being asked to give up something that had been apart of me for much of my life.  What seemed like an obvious decision in the middle of the last senior season was no longer an obvious decision.  Another idea that died was the idea that football was not a core part of my identity.  

Generally, having something like football near (not at) the core of your identity is not a bad thing.  Problems can arise when that thing (football in this case) positions itself above everything else, God and family especially.  I think, briefly, this fact became true for me, which is why it took me so long to make a decision.  Despite the sound advice I was receiving, I was struggling.  That was the point where my priorities were inverted.  "Faith, Family, Football," all of a sudden became "Football, Faith, Family."  I became more concerned about Micah the football player than Micah the Christian.    Eventually, I realized that I had not prayed about the question.  I was too busy trying to rationalize a way to keep a helmet on.  A lack of prayer is a problem that is easily remedied.  I'm not going to say that praying gave me the answers right away, but I did feel more at ease with the process and gained some insight into the direction and questions that needed to be asked before making the decision.  

Once I got through my identity issues and prayed about the decision, I was left with one question:  How would this decision affect my ministry with the players.  Trying to coach and minister to guys is very difficult.  You have to be an authority, all while trying to be friends with them and maintaining a position to speak into their lives outside of football.  Honestly, the answer is unknown.  I believe I have enough capital built up with the guys I have played with here that not playing anymore would not be detrimental to my personal ministry with these guys.  Zach seems to think the same thing.  With that in mind, I came to a decision.

I have been blessed to play this game for many years.  Many of my life’s emotional highs and lows can be tied to this game and the people involved with it.  Most people’s football careers end after high school or college.  The high school activities association or NCAA says that you can’t play at their level anymore.  I have been blessed with opportunities beyond that.  This is a difficult decision, but one I am glad to have the opportunity to make.  I am also most grateful to Martin and Zach for allowing me the opportunity to make this decision, when they had it within their power to simply dictate it.  I am also thankful for time to consider the decision, having been asked the question in July and rendering my decision last week.  I am also blessed to have people in my life that I can ask for and receive 

After finally praying about it and actually listening to the council of those around me, I have decided to hang it up.  Wise council, prayer, and common sense

I am thankful for the opportunities to play for the Prague Lions senior team and to help coach both the senior team and the junior team.  Even still, I am a bit emotional about this decision. God is moving here on the Prague Lions American football team.  I am excited to coach one more season with these guys and am even more excited at what God has in store as we turn our attention to off season and preseason preparations.  

I hope you all have had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday.  I pray that God blesses you as we enter the Christmas season.  

My new official team photo.